Palmer Sets Sights on Shamu

1.  MINNEAPOLIS  Big game serial killer and fugitive dentist Walter Palmer is reportedly making good use of his time in hiding.  While his practice remains shuttered due to the firestorm of outrage following his killing of beloved Cecil the lion in Zimbabwe, rumors swirl regarding Palmer's plans to add an Orca to his trophy room. Palmer reportedly told friends he'd purchased permits to hunt an Orca killer whale in the San Diego area. Associates say that Palmer told them "It's all perfectly legal. I got the permits from the a Nigerian prince; it's game on. I'm very excited?" As a result of the rumors, SeaWorld is stepping up security. Spokesman Mike Nelson said, "We're on high alert. While it would be extremely difficult to lure Shamu off the property, orcas will do just about anything for a couple of fresh mackerel. We can't be too careful." Meanwhile, the grieving continues for Cecil the lion in Zimbabwe, one Wildlife Parks official, dejectedly noted, "It's very sad, hunters without testicles are always the cruelest."