LEXINGTON Rowan County clerk Kim Davis is citing "God's authority" as her reason for refusing to issue same sex marriage licenses even after losing her supreme court appeal. In a rare move, God has issued a statement distancing himself from Ms Davis, "Kim Davis appears to be a confused soul, a frumpy county employee who somehow got a cross stuck up her butt. Perhaps demons are causing her to blame me for her lack of job performance, but the truth is I did not lend my authority to her or Rowan County Kentucky and I've got to say her claim is absolutely not kosher. I suggest that she get to work issuing marriage licenses to whoever wants one, lest she face some biblical style wrath from me. And really, she needs to do something with that hair, it's not 1963."
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