Regulation Roulette!!!

WASHINGTON   President Trump today announced his comprehensive plan to reduce what he sees as oppressive industry regulations. The plan will roll out with ’Two for Tuesdays’ where two regulations must be eliminated for each one approved. “For example,” explained one staffer, “We can roll back levels of mercury and lead in industrial waste output near schools while increasing the threshold for unicorn fairy sprinkles. Look this is not random, we know what we’re doing.” Other parts of the plan include ‘Whacky Wednesdays’ where only regulations dealing with worker safety can be repealed and ‘Freaky Friday’ where Rudy Giuliani will spin a large wheel to determine just how many regulations will be repealed. “It’s really the only thing we’re going to let him do," said the staffer, “We see this as a successful approach moving forward - so buckle up."