WASHINGTON In a historic move, the Republican congressional caucus has changed their mascot from the venerable elephant to Toonces the Driving Cat. Toonces is a recurring SNL character who always claimed to have good intentions but invariably ended up driving his car off a cliff. Leadership aide Biff Wheedle explained, "It's just part of increased transparency by our members. And it makes perfect sense; in 2008 we drove the economy off a cliff. We're starting 2017 by driving the nation's healthcare off a cliff. We think we can fit women's rights, gay rights and minority rights in one backseat and turn Toonces loose before spring. Not to sound cocky, but we are pretty confident we can get government finances in there and then in pretty short order, coax the economy back into the car with Toonces."
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