WASHINGTON DC President Trump today announced sanctions against what appeared to be an actual turkey after bursting into the Situation Room where the few remaining NSC staffers were attempting to craft a solution to the humanitarian and diplomatic disaster Trump had created out of thin air in Syria. While pointing at the actual turkey, Trump announced impromptu 136% tariffs on Turkish giblets, stuffing and green beans with onion straws He did not rule out tariffs on cranberry sauce. Before storming out, Trump reportedly said that any additional sanctions, "would just be gravy."
