Monday, February 1, 2016

Jesus Endorses Trump

DES MOINES  Donald Trump scored a surprise endorsement just in time for the Iowa caucus vote on Monday when Jesus Christ appeared at a rally to offer his endorsement to the business magnate.  Jesus appeared on stage, healed a blind man and said what separated Trump from the other candidates is, "Donald Trump doesn't even pretend to be likable or socially aware. He doesn't care that he's creepy. Frankly it's a miracle that anyone likes him."  When asked if he could help Trump with his hair, Jesus said "There's no reason to, it's a miracle as it is. And you know what? That makes him one miracle shy of sainthood! What other candidate can say that?" A humble Trump joked with the Savior saying, "Us kings of kings have to stick together."

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