Carolina In My Bathroom

RALEIGH   North Carolina lawmakers are sticking to their guns on the principals of their controversial 'bathroom law' in the face of federal declarations that it is unconstitutional. However, they have proposed a change to the legislation. In the proposal, "persons with lady parts" must use the Women's restroom, "those persons with weiners" are required to use the Men's restroom, unless they happen to be "persons who actually are dicks," like North Carolina lawmakers, who will use a new "just for dicks" restroom. "Does this solve the issue? Hell no!" said Senator Floyd Spanker, "but we get us some fancy new bathrooms, don't we?" An LGBT activist noted, "this does make some sense, nobody wants those dicks in their bathrooms."