Bye Bye Bieber

(LOS ANGELES) Justin Beiber made the world's Christmas dreams come true when he announced via twitter that he is retiring. Jews and Palestinians flooded the streets and embraced, the Syrian conflict all but evaporated, the US congress resigned en-masse saying, "We're sorry for letting you down and being total douchebags - you deserve better", as people worldwide realized what a post-Beiber era might mean. UN General Secretary Ban Ki-moon said, "Obviously we're ecstatic, I mean, everyone is - but the worst thing, I mean the worst thing that could happen to the entire planet is if this retirement thing is a hoax."