(NEWARK) Facing a public relations disaster of biblical proportions, New Jersey governor Chris Christie has executed a prisoner exchange with North Korean dictator Kim Jung Un. Christie sent his former chief of staff, Bridget Anne Kelly, to the gulags of North Korea in exchange for international basketball ambassador Dennis Rodman, who assumed the Director of Public Relations position for the governor's office. Rodman deftly handled questions concerning the politically motivated lane closings on the George Washington Bridge during a 2 hour press conference, blaming "stupid motherfuckers" on Christie's staff and encouraging reporters to "shut your fucking pie-holes" as he defused the crisis. Christie seemed pleased with Rodman's efforts saying"Hey, that guy can still kowtow."
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