Innovative Solutions

WASHINGTON - Unable to reach a compromise on using tax cuts or spending as the proper way to stimulate the economy, congress opted instead to award a trillion dollar, no-bid contract to Halliburton to revive the economy. "As they have shown in Iraq, they can take taxpayer billions and sprinkle them like confetti all across the country", said house minority leader John Boehner, "we all know that Democrats can spend money with the best of them what we need in times like this are professionals. these guys can teach Wall Street a thing or two about making cash evaporate."
Democratic congressional leaders Nancy Pelosi, Steny Hoyer and chief Democratic negotiator Dr. Hugo Z. Hackenbush (pictured) expressed satisfaction with the compromise however President Obama has reportedly invited them to the White House to discuss the bill "over a couple cans of whup-ass."