Bonds Value Drops

SAN FRANCISCO - Jurors continue deliberation in Barry Bonds Perjuroids trial after reaching a guilty verdict on one count. Bonds was originally charged with four counts of perjury, one count of obstruction of justice and one count of being a huge asshole. Ten counts of douchbaggery were added to the indictment in May 2008 along with three counts of complete unlikeability. The jury announced a 'guilty' verdict on the one count that prosecutors felt was incontrovertible; that Bonds is a total asshole. "Even his mom wouldn't appeal that one" noted one prosecutor. Deliberations will continue tomorrow.