Budget Blowout

WASHINGTON - House speaker Jphn Boehner and a trusted deputy managed to regroup the Republican caucus for a vote on the contentious budget bill using a combination of fire hoses, Darvocet and promises of candy and hookers. 59 Republican members voted against the bill. That number could have been much greater if not for the armed presence of  deputy Fife. "That's the second amendment in action" said Boehner, "thank god they didn't know he only had one bullet."