World Sleeps Through Royal Wedding

LONDON - Millions worldwide who have been eagerly anticipating the wedding of Prince William to Katherine Middleton at Westminster Abbey were put quickly to sleep by the inescapable plodding dullness of the proceedings. Even the most excited royal watchers drifted off as though affected by a powerful sedative within minutes after the ceremony began. "Buggers!!! I missed it," said Clarice Rigby who had spent every waking moment for the past six months preparing for the wedding, "but I had a lovely nap."