NEW YORK - The entire staff of Fox News resigned en-masse today to run for the Republican nomination for president. Newt Gingrich, Sarah Palin, Mike Huckabee, John Bolton and Rick Santorum (as shown from left) not only spin their views and criticism at large, they are the production staff as well. "We run pretty lean around here" said production manager Fritz Nisbett, "When Newt's pontificating, Sarah's on the camera, Bolton's on the lights and Huckabee is working the board. Santorum does make-up but frankly we're not going to miss him that much because that 'man on dog sex' quote of his didn't come out of nowhere if you know what I'm saying. A Fox spokesman acknowledged that is scrambling to fill the pundit void "that homeless guy with the voice looks pretty good, Charlie Sheen's a pretty angry dude and he can talk on a wide variety of topics, we're even thinking about rolling Dick Cheney out in a Captain Pike style chair - anything's possible.
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